Me : There's a biscuit floating in my coffee.
Cat : Don't sweat the soggy stuff.
One of the rarest commodities apart from really good Cat food is Love. I don't think humans grasp the meaning of it.
Monday, 7 March 2011
Saturday, 26 February 2011
Only a Cat - People Pleasing is soooo last season.
As the Cat of a rather weird owner i am privy to her up's and down's. She is erratic. Not erotic. She gets idle. But is not lazy. I see her wanting to do things and then i watch as she sighs, and curls up on the bed hoping that all bad thoughts will go away. I stare at her and she stares at nothing. Cats have high ideals. We look fear in the face, we gladly go where no cockroach dares tread. Humans are scared of fear. Funny this is, fear only exists when we create it. Of course i can't explain this to my Owner, she thinks she knows everything and yet behaves as if she knows nothing. She will gladly yell at me for pooing on her bed and yet will be stupidly silent when someone treats her like poo on the proverbial bed. I think it's a dire case of people pleasing. Hoping to be liked she will take on a shit load of work and yet eventually gives in and blames herself. What a complete fool.
Why, i wonder, does she bother with things that give no gratification? No sense of accomplishment and very little payment? Why does she gladly lie down on the floor , like a mop, swishing away, poking the dirty corners of
doom and gloom and get up to find that actually, nobody gives a damn? And why should they? I think people only notice you when you notice yourself. You say " Hellooooo!! I am here! Now! And i think i don't like what you stand for and therefore refuse to bow down to your requirements as i have my own"
She doesn't. She therefore loses her way. A way that was never defined from the beginning. She doesnt understand people the way we Cats do. She doesnt love herself the way we cats do, the way we preen and groom our fur, lick our arse regardless of who is watching or talking, fall asleep when the sun is hot and good on our body, eat when we are hungry and drink when we are thirsty.
It's called fullfilment of basic needs. To ignore your needs is to ignore you. To play martyr, holy, do gooder,
to pretend having no money is noble, to dress down and to grab whatever you can out of desperation is way too stupid to even think about.
It's within the same category as " what people expect" . Let me tell you something, People expect nothing - they just have assumptions.
And if they do " expect", then they are lacking in something . People might need, might hope, might share, might give.. but to " expect" is akin to demanding. People " expect" you to say please, thank you, turn up at their boring
functions, listen to their boring talks, praise them and respect them... And when you dont, you therefore have
not lived up to their " expectations" . People pleasing is a sign you are not only on the wrong ladder going up, but you are also on the bottom rung. Tell it like it is and get respect. Don't do things to be liked. Do things to like yourself more. Don't say yes, when you mean fuck that. Don't pretend you are having a great time when your smiley face is hurting and you just want to go home and get laid. Those " People" who are genuine and adore you will never question what you do. Those who think you are an embarrassment, a fool and a let down will not be around because they have no place anymore and they move on. It's nature, karma and its true.
Give up on the people pleasing. It's the most destructive ideology you nurture. We were born naked.
We are not here to show off our bits and bobs. We are here to serve our highest purpose, to determine who we are and if you actually take a minute or two to listen to the questions you keep asking yourself over and over again then you will find the answer to who you are meant to be.
I am a Cat. Only a Cat.
Why, i wonder, does she bother with things that give no gratification? No sense of accomplishment and very little payment? Why does she gladly lie down on the floor , like a mop, swishing away, poking the dirty corners of
doom and gloom and get up to find that actually, nobody gives a damn? And why should they? I think people only notice you when you notice yourself. You say " Hellooooo!! I am here! Now! And i think i don't like what you stand for and therefore refuse to bow down to your requirements as i have my own"
She doesn't. She therefore loses her way. A way that was never defined from the beginning. She doesnt understand people the way we Cats do. She doesnt love herself the way we cats do, the way we preen and groom our fur, lick our arse regardless of who is watching or talking, fall asleep when the sun is hot and good on our body, eat when we are hungry and drink when we are thirsty.
It's called fullfilment of basic needs. To ignore your needs is to ignore you. To play martyr, holy, do gooder,
to pretend having no money is noble, to dress down and to grab whatever you can out of desperation is way too stupid to even think about.
It's within the same category as " what people expect" . Let me tell you something, People expect nothing - they just have assumptions.
And if they do " expect", then they are lacking in something . People might need, might hope, might share, might give.. but to " expect" is akin to demanding. People " expect" you to say please, thank you, turn up at their boring
functions, listen to their boring talks, praise them and respect them... And when you dont, you therefore have
not lived up to their " expectations" . People pleasing is a sign you are not only on the wrong ladder going up, but you are also on the bottom rung. Tell it like it is and get respect. Don't do things to be liked. Do things to like yourself more. Don't say yes, when you mean fuck that. Don't pretend you are having a great time when your smiley face is hurting and you just want to go home and get laid. Those " People" who are genuine and adore you will never question what you do. Those who think you are an embarrassment, a fool and a let down will not be around because they have no place anymore and they move on. It's nature, karma and its true.
Give up on the people pleasing. It's the most destructive ideology you nurture. We were born naked.
We are not here to show off our bits and bobs. We are here to serve our highest purpose, to determine who we are and if you actually take a minute or two to listen to the questions you keep asking yourself over and over again then you will find the answer to who you are meant to be.
I am a Cat. Only a Cat.
Friday, 25 February 2011
Dear RSPCA
Dear RSPCA,
I am writing to you under the cover of darkness, ( my woolly blankey) with nothing but the glow of a candle for light , well actually it's the glow from the tv screen as any minute now a good movie will be on. I have several complaints about my treatment here and i hope you can do something about it. My Owner is way too strict with me.
1) She has rationed my doughnuts to only one a day.
2) She always want to brush my fur. I am not a bloody poodle.
3) She thinks i should do something called " exercise" which hurts my paws and legs.
4) She tickles my tummy in front of chicks. Thats just busting my groove big time.
5) Her idea of nutrition is cat food and water; Mine is a double cheese burger with large fries.
6) She makes a noise when doing housework so i can hardly hear the tv.
7) I have to poo outside. Not even a proper lavatory has been installed for this purpose.
8) She talks a hell of a lot especially when i am napping on the sofa before my shows start.
9) She thinks i should run around chasing butterflies. That is borderline wussy.
10) She has turned me into a hardened criminal. I am now forced to steal cookies from the tin.
11) I am not allowed on her bed as i chew the blanket. No concern at all for my teeth development.
12) She has named me Mr.Kipling. I am a malay cat. I looked up the definition of Kipling on the internet and it means " cured Fish" as in salted fish as in Ikan Masin. Charming.
13) I am expected to share my food with 5 fierce and dangerous kittens. They are very rude to me and sometimes hit me with their paw. I intend to sue if it happens again or place a firecracker in their basket.
14) She wont let me watch TV all night. I guess she wants me to catch lizards but i am more into cultured cuisine and am a big fan of Nigella who i want to marry or just have a one night stand with.
15) She bought me a fake furry mouse to " play with" - That is hardly an intellectually stimulating object. I have thus chucked it out of the window.
I do hope you can remove her from this house, I am fine looking after myself. Otherwise please could you send her a manual explaining how to look after Cats. Please destroy this letter after reading , i watch Mission Impossible and i know spies are everywhere.
Best Regards Cat.
I am writing to you under the cover of darkness, ( my woolly blankey) with nothing but the glow of a candle for light , well actually it's the glow from the tv screen as any minute now a good movie will be on. I have several complaints about my treatment here and i hope you can do something about it. My Owner is way too strict with me.
1) She has rationed my doughnuts to only one a day.
2) She always want to brush my fur. I am not a bloody poodle.
3) She thinks i should do something called " exercise" which hurts my paws and legs.
4) She tickles my tummy in front of chicks. Thats just busting my groove big time.
5) Her idea of nutrition is cat food and water; Mine is a double cheese burger with large fries.
6) She makes a noise when doing housework so i can hardly hear the tv.
7) I have to poo outside. Not even a proper lavatory has been installed for this purpose.
8) She talks a hell of a lot especially when i am napping on the sofa before my shows start.
9) She thinks i should run around chasing butterflies. That is borderline wussy.
10) She has turned me into a hardened criminal. I am now forced to steal cookies from the tin.
11) I am not allowed on her bed as i chew the blanket. No concern at all for my teeth development.
12) She has named me Mr.Kipling. I am a malay cat. I looked up the definition of Kipling on the internet and it means " cured Fish" as in salted fish as in Ikan Masin. Charming.
13) I am expected to share my food with 5 fierce and dangerous kittens. They are very rude to me and sometimes hit me with their paw. I intend to sue if it happens again or place a firecracker in their basket.
14) She wont let me watch TV all night. I guess she wants me to catch lizards but i am more into cultured cuisine and am a big fan of Nigella who i want to marry or just have a one night stand with.
15) She bought me a fake furry mouse to " play with" - That is hardly an intellectually stimulating object. I have thus chucked it out of the window.
I do hope you can remove her from this house, I am fine looking after myself. Otherwise please could you send her a manual explaining how to look after Cats. Please destroy this letter after reading , i watch Mission Impossible and i know spies are everywhere.
Best Regards Cat.
A big Fat steak
Cat : Whats for dinner?
Me: Not sure
Cat : I am very hungry
Me: I'll get your cat food
Cat : I dont want Cat food
Me: Okay...
Cat : I want a big fat juicy steak, chips, mashed potatoes, gravy and apple pie.
Me: How about a sandwich?
Cat : You don't deserve a Pet.
Me: Huh?
Cat : Ignoring all my dietary requirements..
Me: Steak is expensive.
Cat : Tell that to the RSPCA when they come get me.
Me: Not sure
Cat : I am very hungry
Me: I'll get your cat food
Cat : I dont want Cat food
Me: Okay...
Cat : I want a big fat juicy steak, chips, mashed potatoes, gravy and apple pie.
Me: How about a sandwich?
Cat : You don't deserve a Pet.
Me: Huh?
Cat : Ignoring all my dietary requirements..
Me: Steak is expensive.
Cat : Tell that to the RSPCA when they come get me.
Thursday, 24 February 2011
An observation.
My owner thinks a lot. In fact her whole day is taken up with thinking. Mainly about how much she doesnt like herself. I dont know why but she has a low self esteem. I tried telling her that everyone does although at times i can see where she is coming from. As a writer she has it in her to want to write all her thoughts, and stories, she has to sometimes battle with what she really wants to write and what is expected in society. In her view, that is not only hypocrytical but it is a lie. My owner says the truth is ugly, at first, but then it somehow forms into a beautiful honest picture whereby everybody feels better. She lives a lie on a daily basis, and finds solace in humour. She likes making people laugh. She has always been a clown and she uses that. She thinks maybe a lot of other people do as well but is not sure as people dont really like to show who they really are. My owner says that she is fundamentally lazy these days. She finds no happiness in anything and she has a lot of things unsaid inside her. She tried writing poetry but got comments from people who perhaps prefer to live lives in a lie kind of way. I dont know what that means either as i am just a cat, but i am good at listening. She says that there are all kinds of people in this world. Fat, thin, short, tall, gay, bi, straight, bad, good, pathetic, unreasonable, pretentious and she says it is both comforting as well as reassuring to know this. What good is it to live a lie she often thinks? Why must i pretend to be happy, well off, religious, good, forgiving and patient when i am not? Why must i accept the labels i hear about me? The assumptions made. The mistakes that are always at the forefront and yet the good things never mentioned? My Owner is a divorcee. That is also a huge
thing here. She has been called a lot of names ever since the divorce. Funny thing is that nobody has ever bothered to ask why she divorced? That would of course be mundane. Nobody is interested in mundane. My owner thinks women have it tough. She says that a lot of women are in marriages whereby they are unhappy and uncared for. They are expected to contribute to the family income and yet are not given due love or respect. She says its a facade. And thats why she divorced, But she is not supposed to talk about that.
She is called melodramatic and nuts. She likes nuts. Because nuts means she is on the right track and in touch with her feelings. She would rather be called nuts than normal. Normal means pent up and fake. Nuts means you dare. She has a lot of empathy towards women caught in loveless marriages, no love, no joy, no sex, no anything. Some are afraid to break away. They believe it is their duty to stay. Duty to who? A man who is about as caring as a pickled rock? And what duty? Its not a duty marriage. It's a gift. My owner has seen marriages fall apart. Hers fell apart in a glorious manner and she was left to pick up the pieces with nothing but a stream of accusations that she accepted as she at least had gotten her freedom. Nothing else though.
It's easy to carry on when you have money she always says. But she had no money either. All the money she had was gone. She declared bankruptcy as well. That was another great day. Had she had money she would have been able to sail onwards, hire lawyers , fly flags but nope. So she turned to drinking a lot. That was she found, a great releif. People tutted and frowned as if they had never even drank and this she found to be highly amusing as she knew a lot of them were just enjoying watching out for the next thing she would do.
She doesnt care what she says , but she does. In fact she only says what she believes is real and finds it hard to pretend to be so damn good when she is not. She avoids people a lot as she doesnt like gossip. She feels that so many people thrive on gossip that it is almost a sickness. She has few friends. She had before but they were just fake and farty. Plus not many people like her. After she lost her business she felt as if she was in an abyss. Thats a not nice place. And she had no energy to even want to fight. She is often seen as loud and brash, fickle minded, unreliable, insecure, bad with money, lazy and she doesnt mind . Her main obstacle is not feeling motivated. She has no inspiration at all. She has ideas though all the time. And would love to take a big baseball bat and whack something. She wants at times to say, thats not the truth. But she plays along.
She suits the stereotype bad woman image to a tee. My Owner loves me a lot because i listen to her and i make her laugh. I guess also because i am honest. My Owner says i am her best friend. She is my best friend too.
thing here. She has been called a lot of names ever since the divorce. Funny thing is that nobody has ever bothered to ask why she divorced? That would of course be mundane. Nobody is interested in mundane. My owner thinks women have it tough. She says that a lot of women are in marriages whereby they are unhappy and uncared for. They are expected to contribute to the family income and yet are not given due love or respect. She says its a facade. And thats why she divorced, But she is not supposed to talk about that.
She is called melodramatic and nuts. She likes nuts. Because nuts means she is on the right track and in touch with her feelings. She would rather be called nuts than normal. Normal means pent up and fake. Nuts means you dare. She has a lot of empathy towards women caught in loveless marriages, no love, no joy, no sex, no anything. Some are afraid to break away. They believe it is their duty to stay. Duty to who? A man who is about as caring as a pickled rock? And what duty? Its not a duty marriage. It's a gift. My owner has seen marriages fall apart. Hers fell apart in a glorious manner and she was left to pick up the pieces with nothing but a stream of accusations that she accepted as she at least had gotten her freedom. Nothing else though.
It's easy to carry on when you have money she always says. But she had no money either. All the money she had was gone. She declared bankruptcy as well. That was another great day. Had she had money she would have been able to sail onwards, hire lawyers , fly flags but nope. So she turned to drinking a lot. That was she found, a great releif. People tutted and frowned as if they had never even drank and this she found to be highly amusing as she knew a lot of them were just enjoying watching out for the next thing she would do.
She doesnt care what she says , but she does. In fact she only says what she believes is real and finds it hard to pretend to be so damn good when she is not. She avoids people a lot as she doesnt like gossip. She feels that so many people thrive on gossip that it is almost a sickness. She has few friends. She had before but they were just fake and farty. Plus not many people like her. After she lost her business she felt as if she was in an abyss. Thats a not nice place. And she had no energy to even want to fight. She is often seen as loud and brash, fickle minded, unreliable, insecure, bad with money, lazy and she doesnt mind . Her main obstacle is not feeling motivated. She has no inspiration at all. She has ideas though all the time. And would love to take a big baseball bat and whack something. She wants at times to say, thats not the truth. But she plays along.
She suits the stereotype bad woman image to a tee. My Owner loves me a lot because i listen to her and i make her laugh. I guess also because i am honest. My Owner says i am her best friend. She is my best friend too.
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